Carta para mi muy querida Angelica (en español)

El 11-M perdí a una amiga muy querida. Quisiera reproducir la carta que la escribí y dejé al poco tiempo en la estación de Atocha de Madrid-

Mi muy querida Angélica, hace ya un mes que no disfrutamos de tu sonrisa, de tu alegría y sobre todo, de tu pasión por la vida. Aquel 11 de Marzo tomaste el “Cercanías” en Alcalá para ir a clase de inglés, pero no te dejaron llegar. A veces hablábamos en esa lengua para practicar y te encantaba comparar tu perfecto acento “Oxford” con mi “salvaje acento americano”. Te hablaba mucho sobre América, y tu “imaginabas mis palabras”, como hacías todo en la vida, con tanta ilusión. Hoy he descubierto que ibas a viajar a Dublín este verano.

Pronto pasaste de ser la hermana de uno de mis mejores amigos a mi amiga. No te costó nada. Como no te costaba nada hacer que la gente se encariñase de ti, todos queríamos un poco de tu vitalidad y dulzura. 

Hoy todos los momentos que tuve la suerte de compartir contigo vienen a mi. Recuerdo cuando, durante las pasadas elecciones municipales, te encontraste con Pedro Zerolo por la calle. Tu te presentaste a él y ni corta ni perezosa le ayudaste a pegar carteles de Trinidad Jiménez. Hoy he descubierto que uno de esos carteles decoraba tu habitación.

Cuando quería verte, ya sabía a donde ir. A la cantina de COGAM. Allí estabas con dos de tus tres pasiones: un libro y Loli. Erais inseparables, jamás vi a dos personas tan enamoradas. Y vuestro amor era del que nos daba esperanzas. Siempre que alguien decía que las parejas del mismo sexo no duraban mucho tiempo, yo, os ponía como ejemplo de lo contrario.

Tu tercera pasión era tu hermano Abraham, a quien endulzaste sus 19 años, y junto con Loli y tus padres, la persona que más te quería en este mundo. Siempre estaba hablando de ti con orgullo, nos contaba como eras, que si habías hecho esto, lo otro, o lo de más allá. Hoy sigue hablando de ti con más orgullo que nunca. Le mandaste un mensaje al móvil mientras celebrábamos su cumpleaños, hoy he descubierto que en tu mesa tenías un calendario con el mío señalado. Y eso me ha hecho sentirme muy feliz.

Me acostumbré a verte a menudo, y por eso nunca te dije lo que sentía por ti. Como todos los días vemos a personas que queremos y no las decimos que las queremos. Pues yo te quería Angélica, me encantaba estar contigo compartiendo nuestras ilusiones y proyectos. Me sentía inmensamente felíz al verte abrazada a Loli y haciendo reír a Abraham. Todavía no he aceptado que la próxima vez que vaya a la reunión del Grupo de Jóvenes de COGAM tu no estarás en la cantina para abrazarme, para contarme como te ha ido la semana o para hablarme del libro que estabas leyendo. Me siento muy orgulloso de ser tu amigo y cada día descubro cosas nuevas de ti. Hoy sé que disfrutabas escuchando la música de Ismael Serrano, y Angélica, Ismael ha firmado tu guitarra. Cada día te conozco más, cada día todos te sentimos más cerca y cada día nos sentimos más afortunados por el tiempo que pasamos juntos.

Albert.

 

PD- Cinco años depués Loli sigue hablando de Angélica

...y prometo reenviaros todos los emails! (en español)

Lo tengo que aceptar, llevo una racha de muy mala suerte. En poco tiempo he perdido a mi novio, estoy viendo como alguien a quien consideraba amigo se va a ir de vacaciones o a vivir con el a hacer yo que se que. Y por supuesto lo tenia muy en secreto. En fin, pero el colmo fue el Lunes.

Volvía a casa por la noche, cuando un coche invadió de repente mi carril. Pegué un frenazo y me echó de la autopista. Todo fue muy rápido, y aunque duró segundos a mi se me hicieron como horas. Es curioso como priorizas, primero pensé- de esta no salgo vivo, luego, quizás vivo pero ¡ay, esto va a doler mucho!, y por último- ¡parece que estoy bien!, pero ¿y el coche?

La Policía tomó declaraciones, mientras que el tipo que había invadido mi carril aseguraba que la culpa era mía por ir deprisa. Y yo iría rápido pero si el tipo hubiera mirado por el retrovisor antes de entrar en mi carril y echarme de él, el accidente nunca se hubiera producido. Me llevaron al hospital y tras varias pruebas creen que tengo algo en las cervicales ya que cuando salí de la autopista me golpee la cabeza. El policia me dijo que había salvado la vida por dos motivos- llevar cinturón puesto y tener un coche grande y pesado. Pues sí, mi precioso Alero (bueno, mas bien de mi madre) estaba muy roto.

Bueno amogos, y creo que la razón de que todo esto me pase a MI y sólo a MI es que cada vez que recibo uno de esos email que te dice- y si no lo reenvias 400 veces a todos tus amigos morirás de forma horrible, nunca los reenvio. Pero lamento informaros que a partir de ahora lo haré.

PD- Muchas gracias por todas las llamadas preguntando como estoy. En serio, el accidente fue un susto terrible y de verdad pensé que no salía. Pero ya estoy mejor y dispuesto a afrontar la vida con optimismo (aunque de momento sin coche).

Iran

Please look at this pictures- What can you see? I see fear, I see horror, I see pain. The boys in the picture where only 17 years old. They where a couple, they where in love, they where probably experimenting with some of the beautiful things that life brings you: falling in love, holding hands, kissing.

But those things where taken away from them. I have looked for hours the pic in which they are being transported to the place where they will be murdered, they are crying while a journalist interview one of them. When I see that pic I want to cry to, I can feel the pain, I can feel the fear. Can you? - Imagine yourself in that position. That could have been me, the only difference between them and me is that I was born miles away from there.

Before they were killed this boys received 100 lashes each-- and a crowd was waiting for them to cheer while they where being hanged. Is that what islam is for?

This is Iran, but things like this are happening in more islamic countries like Iraq, Yemen or Saudi Arabia. To me that's human being at it worst. I'm not a religious person but if religions are used for helping each other, for sharing love, for becoming better people, they are more than welcome. But when I see this pics I also feel anger. I'm tired of fanatism, ignorance and cruelty. Because killing two 17 y.o. kids for loving each other is just cruelty at it worst. According to Amnesty International since the Ayatollahs took power in Iran in the 70's more than 100.000 gays and lesbians have been killed by the judicial brunch of the Iranian Government under the accusation of offending god. I'm so angry, I know this is not politically correct but I strongly believe that islam is the religion of hate. 

I'm not a big fan of President Ronald Reagan, but he once called the Soviet Union the "empire of evil" - boy he was right!

Well I would say that some muslim countries are the 21st century "empire of evil". Just think about it: places where woman have no rights, where everything is religion - based and where you can go to jail or being executed for being who you are. Think about it: New York 9/11, Madrid 3/11 and the Bali and London attacks where penetrated by islamic fundamentalists. Now Amhajinnejhad (don't know how to spell it, and don't want to!), the same Iranian president that encourages the murders of young gay boys is developing a nuclear program, do you really think is just for providing energy? Let's speak out loud- the Iran government is a threat to freedom, human rights and world peace. 

If I could speak to the boys that you can see in the pics I would tell them what Dustin Lance Black said in his Oscar acceptance speech: guys you are beautiful creatures. I wish I can hug you, I wish I can cry with you and with your families but most of all I wish I could have done something. I wish moderate religious people are right and you are in a better place now, a place where you can love each other in freedom. If that place exists and you guys are there I just want to send you all my love.

The Munsters- one of the best sitcoms ever

When I was a kid I remember waking up early every Saturday morning to watch "The Munsters" on TV. I didn't care that the show was in black and white or from the 60's. I was so attracted by that family- I recall the glamour of Lilly, Marilyn (the normal one, well, not according to Herman!), Eddy- the little werewolf and most of all the great comedy couple, the fantastic connection between Fred Gwynee (Herman) and Al Lewis (Grandpa Munster). While I was watching the show my grandma used to prepare a ham-cheese-tomato sandwich for me as breakfast. And as a kid I couldn't be happier.

"The Munsters" was a sitcom filmed in the 60's at Universal City Studios in Los Angeles (The Munster's mansion is been used as Bree's house in "Desperate Housewives" these days) and the characters where based on Universal Studios classic monsters. When the show was aired on NBC for the first time, "The Adams" were already there. But while "The Adams" where well-to do people "The Munsters" where kind of a blue collar family. The show lasted two seasons only (audiences moved to color TV shows like the terrible "Batman"- POW!, BANG! yes, that Batman, and the adorable "Bewitched"). But "The Munsters" became soon a cult TV show for people of all ages. In fact, more than 40 years later a new generation is re-discovering the Munsters thanks to the DVD releases. 

After 70 episodes, the show was cancelled in 1966. But the audience has never forgotten the spooky mansion, the funny situations and Herman Munster's faces, expressions and reactions. In fact the connection between the three main actors: Yvonne de Carlo (Lilly), Fred Gwynne (Herman) and Al Lewis (Grandpa) was legendary. Universal Studios released kind of a remake of the show called "The Munsters Today" (with different scripts and actors) in the 90's, but this new version of the show didn't become popular just because Yvonne, Fred and Al where not there. And although the new actors did their best, they couldn't play the roles of Lilly, Herman and Grandpa as  the original cast. They just didn't have that kind of magic, that kind of connection.

Yvonne and Fred played different roles in more movies and TV shows (like "The Ten Commandments" or "Car 52") but they will always be remembered as Lilly and Herman Munster. Yvonne passed away in her Woodland Hills (California) home in 2007 while Fred left us in 1992 in a little town in Maryland were he was very involved in the local theatre. Al, well, what can we say about Al Lewis?-- Despite the role of Grandpa Munster was so attached to his heart he explored and did so many different things in his life. He hosted a daily radio show, opened an Italian restaurant in NYC (it was common to se him there serving tables) and in 1997 ran for office-- he was the Green Party's candidate for New York State governor. It was a shame that he could not appeared in the ballot as "Grandpa Munster" as he requested. His political career and views are the main subject of the Spanish documentary "Good Bye America", released a few months after his death in 2006. 

Thanks for reading this post, I'm gonna watch an episode of "The Munsters" on DVD. While watching it I'll think of Yvonne, Fred and Al -what an interesting and exciting lives they had!- and I will smile.

Mi primer Lunes (en español)

Hoy ha sido mi primer Lunes despues de semanas malas. Desde que mi antiguo novio me dejo por mail al regresar a Florida, un mail, en el que me acusaba de cosas terribles y falsas. El primer Lunes, semanas tras descubrir que mi antiguo novio me odiaba en secreto pero nunca dijo nada porque asi yo le mantenia y le pagaba parte del dentista. 

Ha sido muy duro, pero hoy, he decidido, que pase lo que pase quiero ser feliz. He pasado noches despierto, llorando, preguntandome por que. Pero hoy ya no quiero hablar de esto. Tengo 31 años, y ya es hora para mi de ser feliz, de ir a por mis sueños dorados. Es hora de vivir la vida que yo quiero vivir, y no la que otros creen que debo vivir. Tengo muy claro lo que quiero, donde quiero estar y cuales son mis objetivos. Quiero lanzarme a ellos, con calma pero sin pausas. Esta vez no hare caso a las manipulaciones, a los que me dicen lo que puedo y no puedo hacer, a los que intentan llenarme de complejos, a los que quieren limitar mi libertad y mis sueños, a los que desean enjaular mi futuro. Es hora ya de intentar ser feliz. Puede que lo consiga o no, pero al menos lo habré intentado. 

Hoy quiero mirar a la vida con optimismo, apreciar lo mucho que tengo: familia, buenos amigos, mi propia empresa, una bonita casa. Y a partir de este punto crecer. Pasar mas tiempo con amigos verdaderos. Volver a tener sueños e ilusiones y regresar al año 2001 en el que todo parecía que era posible. Hoy estoy receptivo, abierto, con energía. Centrado para realizar los planes que hagan falta y para seguirlo. Hoy puede ser el comienzo de la felicidad :)

so I guess I'm a mac

I got my first PC  when I was 15. Oh boy- I was so excited!!! a brand new HP with Windows 3.1 and a printer. Since then I've been using PC and Windows. Until last year-- as you know I run an American-English school called George Washington School of English and every month we send a newsletter to our students. We had an antivirus installed in all our equipments, but don't know how, we sent a virus with our newsletter. Guess what? a lot of our students where upset. And I didn't know what to do.

Why don't you get a mac? a friend (who, by the way, didn't have a mac suggested me). mmmmmmmmmm... I told myself. I mean, I remember macs from when I was a kid, but, I just didn't know.

A month later, I was at Millenia Mall (my favorite shopping center in the world) and I saw an Apple Store. Got in. Looked cool. I felt in love with the MacBook Air. I didn't buy it at that moment. I checked the Apple web site and learnt the differences between Apple and PC. I finally bought the MacBook Air at a beautiful new mall in Ft.Myers. Two days later I flew from Orlando to San Francisco- I had a 6 hour flight and nothing to do but explore my mac. In the beginning I thought "Oh no- what is this? - what have I done?" But little by little I got more comfortable. I was able to design posters, flyers and newsletter with a much better design. Everything looked more stylish.

So then I got rid of my blackberry and bought an iPhone. When we opened the Madrid Cuzco campus I wanted everything in my office to be Apple. And I feel great in my office, I really love it! Then I recommended mac to a friend of mine who is CEO of a very successful fashion business. At first he told me he hated me and if telling him to buy a mac was some kind of a revenge for something. But now if you go to his office- everything is mac. 

My advise to you: Macs are not perfect, in fact they don't run a lot of programs that PC does. But, I would say they are more stable and they allow you to do things that unless you are an expert, you couldn't do with PC.

Pic- Me bringing a mac two days before the inauguration of my new office in Madrid's financial district.  

Moving on and trying to fulfill some dreams

It's a beautiful Saturday morning here in Madrid. The grass is finally growing in my little garden, there are some flowers and a palm tree too. I'm listening to Michael Buble. For the past weeks I have been really sad after my boyfriend broke up with me. I recall being extra-sad in other moments of my life, and this is one of those. But, well, as Easter vacations are finishing I have decided I have been sad for a while an it's time to move on. I don't want to be sad for the rest of my life. Yes, my former boyfriend lied to me and I feel very used by him, not fair. But I did what I did because I followed my heart-- I supported him emotionally and financially. I paid for part of his dentist bills and took him all over the Madrid area (from hot gay clubs to castles). If he is a paranoid and is not grateful, well, that's gonna be his problem. I know I behaved real good. And I'm not speaking anymore about him. This is over!  

The only good thing about this situation has been that I have realized I have wonderful friends who care deeply about me. Alvaro brought me my favorite ice-cream (Ben & Jerry's chunky monkey) to cheer me up, Mario called me a lot of times to ask me how I was feeling and came to visit me to my office. Juan, oh boy!, he really showed he is a great friend!-- he listened to my stories a million times and he has been very, very, very supportive and understanding. Daniela and Diana sent me lots of emails, they hugged me every time they saw me. Carra told me I'm still looking very good and is time to move on :)  Not to mention Lindsey- who would hug me every morning at the office. Kyle was there for me at the other side of the Ocean, and Debbie too from Scotland. Alvaro Arnaiz brought me some horror movies (my favorites!) to cheer me up too! and of course, Diego, who offered me to party all night in Chueca!. To all of you guys... thanks so much!!! Thanks for your hugs, your kisses, your phone calls, your emails, your ice-creams, thanks for being with me not only in the good moments, but also in the bad ones. You can't decide when you are sad or happy, but from now on I'm going to try to be happy with all my heart. I'm going to try to go back to Japan, to visit China. To spend some time in L.A. and visit the movie studios. There are so many things that are going on here as well. Our business is growing- the Cuzco campus is finally doing better, and the place is now small so we can't hold as many students as we would like in the afternoons. So, we have to find a bigger place. Not to mention my golden dream: to establish a brunch in the US. Yes, from now on, I'm going to try to fulfill my dreams and be happy. I may succed or not, but at least I'm going to try it.

Let's party all night!!!

Since my boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago I'm really having a very sad time. First of all, I'm in shock, like blocked, can't think or react to what is going on. I barely sleep by night-- the whole thing looks very unfair to me. So I told my friends: "please, don't let me alone with my thoughts". The only good thing about this situation is that I've discovered that I have really good friends. Everybody have been very supportive. And everybody is trying to help. 

My friend D told me last week- "don't worry Albert, I'm taking you to Chueca on Friday and we are gonna party all-night long!!!". D is a very good friend, and obviously is just doing his best to help me. It's just-- I don't want to party. I'm bored of Madrid. I truly feel this city has nothing more to offer me. Since their 16th birthday (sometimes even earlier) madrilenios are encouraged to drink alcohol in the streets and hang out every weekend from midnight until 6 or 7 am. Not joking, I promise this is true. I don't mind party sometimes, but there's many more things I want to do. I don't recall the last time a madrilenio told me: "let's go to theme park to ride roller coasters", or "let's go camping" or "let's go to the zoo". No, everything here is about clubbing and drinking. I really believe this night culture thing is not healthy. I'm bored of getting in clubs to do nothing: can't have a conversation- the music is always too loud; can't dance, the music is always terrible. So what I am supposed to do, stand up there and look at everybody from over my shoulder? That's so not me. I'm a nice guy- I like to talk to people. I really don't want to party anymore-- I want to do better in life! I want to travel the world! I want to go back to Japan and also explore China. I want to return to California and visit the movie studios in LA. I want to swim with dolphins at Discovery Code (Orlando). I want to go to a safari in Kenya. I want to meet poets, actors, politicians, enterpreneurs. There's a beautiful world out there to be explored!- don't waste your life in a sordid club. 

Picture: me with some Japanese girls I met in Tokyo (2003).

What a difference a dog makes

When I was a kid I really wanted a dog, but never got one. Many years later my former boyfriend told me he wanted one. In the beginning I didn't like the idea. I'm a very independent person, love to travel worldwide and I thought a dog would be a big responsability that would change my lifestyle. One day we went to visit his aunt, who's dog had puppies recently. One of the puppies approached my former boyfriend and didn't separate from him the whole afternoon. "We've got a dog"- I thought. We agree to keep the dog for a week, if after having him for seven days we would have changed our minds, we could have give it back. But how could have give back such a beautiful thing. He followed me everywhere, he slept with me. After a day I was very happy to have him. When I was born my parents thought about giving me the name of Oscar, after Irish writer Oscar Wild. Then my mum thought it was a name for dogs (although I never met a dog named Oscar) and changed it to Albert. That's why I named our dog- Oscar. I have wonderful memories of him: one day he was attacked by a duck and came crying to me, other day he felt into a lake when he was chasing me. I'm a very goofy person, and Oscar became a very goofy dog (yes, dogs tend to behave like their humans). Later came the second dog, we were feeling so sad leaving Oscar alone every time we would go to work that my former boyfriend decided to get another dog so Oscar could play while we were out. 

We named her Lucy, after sitcom actress Lucille Ball, because she loved cameras (dogs can't smile, but I swear this one can). Oscar didn't like her in the beginning, he thought we were going to forget about him. But then he became her best friend. I developed a very special bond with Lucy. Sometimes I would hear her crying- I learnt that means: "open the door I can't get in the room with you". She is the sweetest dog I've ever met. She made me so happy. After my boyfriend broke up with me he took the dogs back to Florida, and now I miss Lucy & Oscar so much. "Buy a new dog"- lots of friends have told me. I'm sorry, the very same way that when I lose a friend I don't buy other, I'm not getting more dogs to replace Lucy and Oscar. They are irreplaceable. They made a difference in my life. That is why I recommend that if you feel lonley, or not very happy with your life: please get a dog, be nice to him or her (I don't like to call animals "it") and the dog will make a bright difference in your life.

Walking down Castro Street

The year was 2001, but I'm still thinking about Castro St. Right now I'm miles away from there. I'm sitting by myself in a fashionable cafe in Chueca, Madrid's GLBT area. But eight years later I'm still thinking about Castro St. I remember walking down the street in November 2001, it was sunny, I was so young, so fresh, so bright, so full energy, my entire life was ahead of me and I had so many dreams and projects to realize. There was a big smile on my face. Yes, that was the first day of my life when I walked by myself through Castro St. I still remember the blue shirt I was wearing (yes, in those days everything was Tommy Hilfiger).

It wasn't long time ago before that when I came out of the closet to my family and friends. I felt very loved, all reactions were very supportive. Before that day my life was sad. I guess I was living somebody else's life but definetly not mine. Everything was in black and white- I thought love was for everybody but me. But then I came out, and color came in. Went to Germany right after, lived in some kind of a hippy-gay camp for some time. It was great, met so many people from all over Europe. But I was not expecting to be in San Francisco after a few months.

I got there thanks to one of my best friends. And yes, for the first time in my life I was 100% happy. I still recall that sunny day of November 2001 when I walked alone down Castro St. I remember the colorful Victorian-style houses. Gay couples holding hands, the hills (althought it can't be done, I thought there would be a moment where I would have been able to see the Golden Gate from the Castro). Well, I guess I didn't see the bridge, but at the end of the street I saw a giant rainbow flag. I started to run, like if the flag was calling me. I was so happy that I thought I was going to explote. When I got to the flag I read that it was a monument dedicated to a guy named Harvey Milk.

Who was Harvey Milk? I asked myself. Well, nothing I could not find at Castro's GLBT booksellers. Got into the shop and found out that Milk fought for gay rights in the 70's. He was the first openly gay person to be elected for office. You see, San Francisco became the gay capital of the world when, back in the 50's, a lot of gay men where discharged from the navy for loving people of their same sex. Afraid of coming back to their hometowns in the midwest, they remained in Frisco, where the Army would have left them. When Milk arrived there in the early 70's there was already a huge GLBT community in the area. But they had no rights, the police would beat them up, some of them were murdered in the streets just for holding hands with their boyfriends, just for loving another human being. It took a while for Milk to get elected member of the City Council. He became a celebrity in all the country and passed the first pro-gay laws, the people sudently started calling him "the Major of Castro Street" . Harvey was taken away from us when a former colleague, Dan White, killed him after shooting George Moscone, the Major of the "City by the Bay". Thousands of people marched from Castro to the Townhall to protest, that action along with the Stonewall riots shaped the contemporary Gay & Lesbian movement.

When I discovered that story, at the age of 23, I was so shocked. Why me and other young GLBT persons didn't know Harvey's story? How was possible that nobody made a movie about this? Well, more or less at the same time, another 23 y.o. guy made himself the same questions after taking the same walk through Castro Street? He did what I didn't- he wrote a script about it. When and how did this guy met independent movie director Gus Van Sant? I don't know. But one thing is for sure, Van Sant loved the idea. And decided to made the movie-- actor Sean Penn would play the role of Harvey.

The movie, titled "Milk" became a big success, not only in Castro St. but also in Main Street. And Dustin Lance Black, at the age of 31 (that's my age), won the Oscar for best script in the last Oscar's Ceremony. Dustin grew up gay in a very conservative enviroment (just like me) what made him very sad and even suicidal as a kid and as a teenager (same here). Later moved to LA and came out, and one day had this bright idea of writing a script about Harvey Milk, when, at the age of 23, was walking down Castro Street. A wonderful thing like that could only happen in Castro Street.

Yes it is 2009, I'm in a little cafe in Chueca, and every day when I go to sleep I think about Castro Street. Someone I know is coming to say "hi" to me, and... guess what? I'm going to speak with him about Castro Street. 

Pics- me in the Chueca cafe writting this post, me in Castro St (2008) and Dustin Lance Black with his Oscar